Nature Or Nurture In Social Networking

We suffer from a collective delusion, in Western society, and it comes to the fore this time of year, like clockwork, as we make New Year's resolutions. That delusion is that what we choose to do, how we live our lives, act, eat, and dream --- who we are, essentially -- is in our own control. That through will power and hard striving we can change our ways, largely independently of others.

However, more research is coming to light all the time that suggests that this simplistic notion of the individuality of our core being is just not true.

Recent research by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler has demonstrated that emotions -- specifically happiness -- moves through social networks without conscious action (see Happiness Is An Emergent Property Of Social Networks), and other research has focused on how positive activities like giving up smoking are better accomplished in social groups, and that negative behaviors -- like suicidal thoughts -- are also transmitted like a virus through social connections: so-called "social contagion".

One of the most interesting avenues of research is genetics: how much of our way of social networking is inherited, and how much is learned? New research is soon to be published that suggests it's more innate than we might believe:

[from How your friends' friends can affect your mood by Michael Bond]

[...] what shapes the architecture of our social networks and our position in them? Clearly, many factors contribute: where we live, where we work, family size, education, religion, income, our interests, and our tendency to gravitate towards people similar to us. New research by Christakis's team, due to be published in the next few weeks, suggests there is also a strong genetic component. The study compared the social networks of identical and fraternal twins, and found that identical twins had significantly more similar social networks than fraternal twins, suggesting the structure of your social network is influenced by your genes. That may not sound remarkable, since personality traits such as gregariousness and shyness clearly play a role in determining how connected we are. But there is much more to it, says Christakis. "It's not just about having a genetic predilection to be friends with a lot of people, it's about having a genetic predilection to be friends with a lot of popular people. That's mysterious: how could our genes determine our actual location in this socio-topological space?"

Answering that should help us understand more about the "collective intelligence" of social networks, which some researchers liken to the flocking of birds - the decision to quit smoking, for example, is no more an isolated move than the decision by a bird in a flock to fly to the left.

So, in the spirit of New Year's resolutions, it seems that this indicates a necessary meta-level of resolution, one that sounds a lot like a nagging mother:

1. Resolve to surround yourself with people who are actively involved with activities and behaviors you want to do more of.
2. Avoid people who are involved with activities and behaviors you want to do less of.
3. When around people that you are consciously trying not to emulate, avoid 'mirroring' their talk, facial expressions, or interaction patterns: to not imprint on these people.
4. When around people you want to emulate, 'mirror' the small graces of social interaction -- turns of phrase, facial expressions, hand gestures, etc. -- so that you are helping along the integration of norms you admire. Try to think 'like them', by adopting their rhetoric and logical analysis. (Think of a teacher you admired in school, and how you might have adopted her thinking in discussing the class with others.)
5. When in contact with people who want to emulate you, be aware that you have this sort of impact on them. Do not be surprised to find them feeding back your thoughts, turns of phrase, terms, even facial expressions. Imitation is more that flattery: it's social contagion, which is normal, inevitable, and generally positive.

Looks like we are who we hang with, for better or worse, and to the degree that we can control where we wind up networked we should try to move toward those that are doing the fun stuff.

For me, in 2009, that means more time with foodies, musicians, thinkers, and doers. I am going to hang with people trying to make the world a better place-- at every scale -- and shy away from those consumed with money, power, and fame for their own sake.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." I want to spend more time with the great minds of our time. Maybe something will rub off.

[via @panklam, @davidgurteen]