Better Air Travel

Reston: I am inspired by Jeff Jarvis’ noble (but failed, I think) attempt to explore his notions of the Social Flight as a means of improving the air travel experience.

I travel a great deal (my last trip was SF>Lausanne>New Delhi>Barcelona>Lugano>Lausanne>NYC>DC, for example) and while I am an avid student of social technologies, I don’t believe that a deeper social experience on airplanes is what people are after.

What they want is a shorter travel experience. In particular, they want less time in airports and less time in airplanes. And, while stuck on planes, they want it to be quieter.

Yes, I grant you that while in flight — which I want to be as short as possible — it’s wonderful to find yourself next to an attractive, articulate and interested seatmate. On the other hand, I am a great fan of closing my eyes and sleeping as much as possible on planes, so here’s a short list of things airlines can do to make the experience better:

• Make it quieter. Given the level of technology today, why can’t we make airplanes quieter? Couldn’t we use the technology of noise cancellation and sound-proofing to cut the drone of the engines? Alternatively, couldn’t airlines hand out those bulky earguards that industrial and construction workers use? I see the guys loading the baggage wearing them. They are certainly too big to carry personally, but I am certain that a quieter experience would make a huge difference. I’d pay to rent one.
• Charge for the overhead bins. The simplest way to get people to check their bags — and speed up the boarding process — is to convince the tourists to check all their luggage. I suggest this as as a way for the airlines to make more money, too, although I mostly suggest it to speed things up.
• A better ‘do/don’t disturb’. I like to sleep on planes, but I would like to be able to indicate that I would like to be awakened for a drink or a meal, if the flight attendants get around to distributing food or beverages (which I understand is not their primary responsibility. I do. They are concerned princially with safety.).

  Alternatively, I may indicate that I would not like to be disturbed until we land.
  
  

• Charge for getting off the flight first. One of the benefits of first class is that they exit the plane first. I would pay a premium for a seat in the first few rows of steerage, so that I can exit before the thundering herd, and get to the passport lines earlier.
  
  
• Why can’t the operations geniuses in airlines figure out what is the optimal way for people to get on a plane? Is it the mob scene that I witness in some places (El Al flights come to mind), or the traditional ‘loading from the rear’? It always seemed to me that window seats should be boarded first, from the rear. If it would help, why don’t they figure it out? Once again, I bet that the amount of luggage that people schlep onto the plane figures prominently in this equation. (Pet peeve: small women with extremely large and heavy luggage that they can’t lift to the overhead, and who block the aisle until someone helps them. Which is against FAA regs, now, by the way.)
  
  
• One really important aspect of comfort on airplanes is the size of the people sitting next to you. Is there a reason that we don’t consider this? For example, putting me in the middle seat (I am 6 feet tall, and weigh 235 lbs), sandwiched in between too other fatsos makes for a terrible experience for all three of us. Don’t get me wrong, it is probably no joy for a smaller person to be stuck next to me on a plane (snoring, cackling at all the wrong times in movies, etc.), but since airlines are in the ‘averaging of agony’ business, maybe they should consider it. Right now, the social convention of traveling with other travelers is honored by the airlines as a matter of course. What if I indicated a preference to sit near small people? Or other business people? Or as far away from children as possible?

  Nicole Simon points out that filling the middle seats last makes a big difference. How about a special fee that places me next to an empty middle seat, if one is available? If it isn’t, I would get a credit back.

  I have been known to pay as much as $50, cash, to get the aisle seat when I am stuck in a middle seat. Perhaps this informal market should be encouraged by the airline? Or maybe they should just charge me $50 and move some unassuming tourist to a middle seat in another row.
  
  

• Children on airplanes are a fact of life, but couldn’t we put them together in one area? Particularly the young ones with a predisposition to cry or scream, or kick the back of my seat? (Note: some of this could be handled by noise suppression, but the kicking of the seat can’t.)
  
  
• Wifi and power. Saved for last, since this is such a basic thing. Why can’t the airlines provide standard power to the seats (either Euro or US, I don’t care), and Wifi? I would be willing to pay for both. I know we have traditionally taken free power to be a right, but they can charge me to turn it on, or to put me in a seat configured with it (not $1000, but something). If not Wifi, an internet connection via cable, or bluetooth, or whatever.

I am the biggest sociality hambone in Western Civilization, but I would happily drop all aspirations to a social flight for a quieter one, with less tourists banging their bags into me as they swarm down the aisle with their squalling brats. In my dream experience, I would don my protective earguards (which would double as excellent headphones), plug in my Mac, turn on iTunes, plug in the earguards, and slide my cap over my eyes, after turning on my ‘please disturb for food’ indicator, and drifting into a deep sleep, secure in the knowledge that I have paid for preferred exiting and that I will likely leave the airport 45 minutes earlier as a result.

[pointer Nicole Simon]